Posted by By at 10 July, at 05 : 31 AM Print

Headless Pez is a thrash Metal band from Portland, Oregon.  Their comical stage presence ignites like a fart in the wind during sound check. Right when you think they are about to start… “Wait, we need more fog!”  With a combination of intrusive pubic hair protruding from ass less chaps, a skull cod piece,  drunken ninja turtle knee pads with shin guards and a Manowar-esque handmade tiger print suede vestment their only mission is to fucking shred! Conceived from the foggy mists of Spinal Tap’s armpit stench and Gwar’s bloody cum stains Headless Pez’s high vocals, gallopy riffs and insane guitar solos activate a supernatural creature Skelewhore (see pic) who enters the stage with giant cock and balls to ejaculate awesomeness all over the crowd! Influenced by Ron Jeremy and Rob Halford their songs are wildly entertaining and catchy with unconventional themes like Handy Dandy Butt Candy, Skelewhore and Dr. Bonerstein.


Written by April Jones

Photo by Alyssa Herrman/ Foto Phortress

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  1. FUCK YEAH!! This review gets my panties all wet just READING about Headless Pez!! Seen them live? You’d agree with me 100%!!! WILD, RAUNCHY, and BRUTAL!!!

    Katie Dunbar, 4 years ago Reply

  2. Great review, and spot-on–only problem is, these guys are a bunch of cheapskates! Ryan C.Brown still owes me several rimjobs from like 2011, and Robbie won’t even spring for enough pant material to cover his own nubile ass!!!!

    J.D., 3 years ago Reply

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